NY Heavy Mental
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Biography
JACKPIPE is
LARRY FORMAN – Vocals
DOM EMANUELE – Guitar
RICH STRENG – Bass
GREGG COOK – Drums
NY's JACKPIPE is as crude and fun loving as a heavy metal and hardcore crossover band can be, with all of the gruff bigmouth charm and deeply buried (but ever present) endearing sentiment that helps define the Big Apple. These are four guys weaned on Howard Stern, Andrew Dice Clay, and S.O.D., armed with big riffs, bigger pitchers of beer, and the biggest of belly laughs.
This is situational and observational comedy full of barbarian rhythms and tongue-in-cheek lyrical revelry. It's the musical equivalent of a night out with your friends and defiantly free of trigger-warnings and safe spaces. JACKPIPE sounds like Jim Norton swallowed a gallon of coffee and grabbed the microphone to rant over stomping metal-core anthems made for moshing.
Everyone is invited to the JACKPIPE party. Powered by pizza, wings, bourbon and beer, this East Coast wrecking crew's short songs, catchy riffs, delicious hooks, good humor, and unrelenting groove connect across multiple genres and subcultures, like the subway connects the boroughs.
Larry Forman
Lead Singer - Lyrical Genius
The voice of Jackpipe. An Old School MetalHead with a flair for Comedy...
Dom Emanuele
Guitars and Sexiness
The Meat in the Jackpipe sandwich. A Newer School Metal guy with a touch of Hardcore in him...
Rich Streng
Bass and Bourbon
Bringing the bottom up for Jackpipe. Grounded in Old School Thrash and Hardcore, he brings a little brutality to the show...
Gregg Cook
Drums - Monster
The beat behind the stupidity. He has the double bass to blast your face...
What's New
A little bit of time away from the stage and the creativity just starts to flow...
The riffs are flying at Jackpipe labs. Things are getting heavy...
Jackpipe withdraws from round 2 of the Metal Battle for Wacken...
Due to an injury, Jackpipe has had to withdraw from the second rounf ot the Metal Battle at Dingbatz. We wish all the other bands the best of luck!!
Jackpipe wins first round of the Metal Battle for Wacken!
Jackpipe, along with two other bands advanced to Round 2 of the Metal Battle for Wacken 2024. On Februry 16th, Jackpipe played to fans and friends as well as the fans and friends of the other bands participating in round one at Dingbatz and will do so again on March 29th.
JACKPIPE Tour 2022 Shirts No Longer Available...
Layin' The Pipe Reviewed by Vinyl Lollipops
Vinyl Lollipops added a new Album Reviews by Bryan Blake.
Review: Laying the Pipe
Coming at you with straight up hate filled, tongue in cheek misogynistic fun, Jackpipe delivers a slamming level of fuckery with their new album, Laying the Pipe.
“Thanks for the Mammaries” is straight forwarded, crushing and in your face ode to the chesticle. “Dick Kryptonite” continues the riff filled, dynamic madness with an excellent drum and percussive introduction, that wails into an arrangement that will make you want to punch faces and throw your hands in the pit.
“Let the Coffee Flow” has some fun flowing lyrics and sick linear intro melody that is packed with energy that only caffeine can bring to the table. This band is almost a post punk, Andrew Dice Clay mixed with Hatebreed. This is perfectly captured in the song “Butter-face.” This band’s expert level comedy keeps flowing with an experience that is both heavy and humorous.
The band's Jerky Boys attitude and nasty song writing keeps me looking forward to the next song and the song “Mama's Boy” is a whitty, wailing masterpiece. The band's ability to keep the energy and dynamics pumping tune to tune, never ceases to amaze me. This band is filled with talent and definitely fun.
“Not Just a Pretty Face” is a fun filled, fuck you jam. The drums are fucking spicy and the pitch harmonics and djent breaks are fucking brilliant. The djent filled “Last Call” is my favorite song on this album just due to how hard it fucking hits and how nasty the words are. I didn't know it was humanly possible to make an album that sounded like testosterone, but this one fucking does it.
“Crazy 4 Me” breaks the nu metal barriers with a tale about crazy women. “What Do You Want” is the final track on the album and it is the fire at the end of the set, delivering raging rants and double bass decadence. This album isn't for the faint of heart, but if you are a comedy fan of Carlin, Jerky Boys, Anthony and Opie or Jim Norton, if you add this with nu metal, djent, and post punk then this is album is a fucking thrill ride of fun and humorous metal, that never once comes off cheesy, but hits meaner than a pimp who has been short changed. You guys made my fucking day with this one!
Bryan Blake
Vinyl Lollipops
All Rights Reserved.
Checkout our new EP
Song Lyrics
All Lyrics © JackpipeMusic
Thanks for the Mammaries
When a lady walks by
Two things catch my eye
I know your eyes are up there
Well, I’ll try not to stare
Steel Panther likes them real big
Like two balloons ‘round a twig
Zappa liked them with beer
I just say bring them here
Like kryptonite to most guys
They come in every size
A’s B’s Cs
Double D’s
Big or Small - I love them all
Soft and Fat - Firm or Flat
Set them free - Show them to me
Big or Small - I love them all
BOOBIES
They’re functional but they’re fun
Why God gave you more than one
They get called lots of names
I love them all the same
The Bloodhound Gang said hooray
I cheer for boobs everyday
Cause as an infant we’re trained
Got boobies on the brain
Like kryptonite to most guys
They come in every size
A’s B’s Cs
Double D’s
Big or Small - I love them all
Soft and Fat - Firm or Flat
Set them free - Show them to me
Big or Small - I love them all
BOOBIES
Dick Kryptonite
From across the room
In a crowded place
The mass of people part
And I can see her face
Feel it in my bones
And feel it in my pants
I think it might be love
Hope that I have a chance
I get a whiff of her breath
Smells like she gave head to Death
Libido nowhere in sight
It’s Dick Kryptonite
Walking through the mall
Flowing blonde hair
Everybody looks
The people stop and stare
Like a beauty queen
Out from the runway lights
Think she smiled at me
Say hi to break the ice
I get a whiff of her breath
Smells like she gave head to Death
Libido nowhere in sight
It’s Dick Kryptonite
And when she opens her mouth
My erection goes south
Won’t even put up a fight
It’s Dick Kryptonite
Let the Coffee Flow
Open up my eyes,
To see another day,
I really hate waking up,
When I’m feeling this way,
My eyesight is blurry,
My whole-body aches,
What the hell was I doing?
I just can’t concentrate
Go get the morning paper,
Let the dog out to pee,
Stumble to the Keurig,
I can barely see,
I need a kick in the ass,
I’m so fucking tired,
Gotta get me some fuel,
To build me a fire,
LET THE COFFEE FLOW
LET THE COFFEE FLOW
LET THE COFFEE FLOW
LET THE COFFEE FLOW
It’s 3 o’clock and I’m shot,
Just wanna go take a nap
I think my body needs rest,
I’m too old for this crap
Made another pot,
A little stronger brew,
Like black gasoline
Delicious rocket fuel,
LET THE COFFEE FLOW
LET THE COFFEE FLOW
LET THE COFFEE FLOW
LET THE COFFEE FLOW
Butter-Face
I’m at the store – Wearing my mask –
And this chick goes by – Shaking her ass –
In her yoga pants – You know they fit so well -
I think she smiled – But it’s so hard to tell –
I pay my bill – And walk out to the lot –
She follows me – Man, she’s looking hot –
We talk a bit – Always 6 feet apart –
Takes off her mask – And that just broke my heart –
Order some grub – Support the local guys –
Drive to the place – To pick it up curbside -
She brings my bag – Saunters out to my car –
Struts her stuff – Like she’s a runway star –
Flirts with me – And writes her number down –
Says to call – When Hubby’s not around –
Pulls down her mask – And blows a kiss at me –
I hit the gas – And hear my tires scream –
She’s a Butter-Face
She’s got a Butter-Face
So hot but her face…
It’s laundry time – My clothes are drying
And I see those eyes - There’s no denying
I’m mesmerized – They look into my soul
I can’t explain – Love has taken hold
Off comes her mask – She may be ugly
But I can look passed – Damn, she’s ugly
But she’s sent from GOD – From Heaven up above
As Madness sang – you know it must be love…
She’s a Butter-Face
She’s got a Butter-Face
So hot but her face…
Mama's Boy
I was raised in a broken home
Real Mother left when I was young
Caught my dad with a younger chick
Unlike me, dad was hung
Away at college and my dad re-wed,
I came home to meet his wife,
My first night home she snuck into my bed,
Gave me the fuckin’ of my life
She’d walk around in her underwear
Tempt me every chance she can
Says she likes what I have in my pants
And I could be her little man
Told me that I have to call her Mom
When we play our special game
Glad my dad is kinda old and deaf
Cause every night she screams my name…
She comes to me
Whenever he’s not home
She teases me
When we’re all alone
Yeah, she’s a freak
Lives out her fantasies
She cracks the whip
And has me on knees
Yea, I’m a Mama’s Boy
Step Mother’s little toy
Yea, I’m a Mama’s Boy
They make Porno ‘bout this kind of thing
Never thought that I’d live that life
Semesters started, I was back at school
Damn, I miss my dad’s hot wife
Weekend came, I’d get a call,
It’s her, she looking for some fun,
She’d come up to visit me,
Guess my dad can’t get it done
Not Just a Pretty Face
Cat calls and whistling, Hey man that butt looks sick
Sliding in my DM’s, Talking slick, sending pics
I know I’m beautiful, Straight off the cover of Vogue
You really want me, There’s something you must know…
Yea, I’ve got the body, But I’ve got the brains to match
I don’t have baggage, So babe, I’m quite the catch
Now don’t be frightened, We’re the same in most ways
If you really want, Hear what I’ve got to say…
You want all of this?
Can you handle it?
Cause there’s more to this
Then just sexiness
I may be a ten
A God among all men
But just know your place
Not just a pretty face
Not Just a Pretty Face
More Than What You See
Not Just a Pretty Face
So Don’t Judge Me
Not Just a Pretty Face
Don’t Hate Me Cause I’m Beautiful
Not Just a Pretty Face
I see you staring, Woman up and come over here
Be a little bit daring, Come on, I’ll buy you a beer
You might get lucky, You could have me on your arm
When it gets cold, Aw babe I’ll keep you warm
Intimidating? No I just know I’m hot
Legendary? Well babe I can’t say I’m not
Now don’t be frightened, We’re the same in most ways
If you really want, Hear what I’ve got to say…
You want all of this?
Can you handle it?
Cause there’s more to this
Then just sexiness
I may be a ten
A God among all men
But just know your place
Not just a pretty face
Not Just a Pretty Face
More Than What You See
Not Just a Pretty Face
So Don’t Judge Me
Not Just a Pretty Face
Don’t Hate Me Cause I’m Beautiful
Not Just a Pretty Face
Cat calls and whistling, Hey man that butt looks sick
Sliding in my DM’s, Talking slick, sending pics
I know I’m beautiful, Straight off the cover of Vogue
You really want me, There’s something you must know…
Yea, I’ve got the body, But I’ve got the brains to match
I don’t have baggage, So babe, I’m quite the catch
Now don’t be frightened, We’re the same in most ways
If you really want, Hear what I’ve got to say…
Last Call
Hot young girl behind the bar
Getting me hot under the collar
You know she wants the D
And by D I mean the dollar
I tell her I’m going to give her the tip
She says whip it out
I got all night to make her mine
Night’s not over ‘til she shouts…
It’s Last Call
For Alcohol
Get you Whiskey, Wine or Beer
Then Get the Fuck Outta Here
Been here all night it’s getting late
But I still got game to play
She smiles and laughs, blocks all my shots
As the time ticks away
Look at the clock it’s a quarter to four
Guess I’m not getting laid
Just want to give her an Inch of My Love
She’s just trying to get paid
2 Crazy 4 Me
Blonde hair and baby blues,
She’s beautiful and look at that butt,
But there’s one huge problem,
This chick is fuckin nuts,
And not in that normal way,
That all women kind of are,
This is the type of chick,
Drive through your house with her car,
She looks good in everything,
But her brand of jacket should be straight,
If crazy went from 1 to 10
She’d be at least a 28
Well she’s versed in the arts of pleasure
She certainly knows a thing or two
I can’t deal with her crazy
But Man, crazy fucks so damn good…
She’s 2 Crazy 4 Me
But she fucks so good…
A devil in daisy dukes,
A lunatic, she’s hot but insane,
Oh Yeah, she’s hot as hell,
But crazy is her middle name,
I can’t get enough,
Addicted, I run if I could,
I can’t deal with her crazy,
But Man, crazy fucks so damn good…
What Do You Want
My wife calls, tells me stop at the store
Get some milk, maybe a loaf of bread
Write it down, try to get off the phone
Must escape, before I hear those words I dread,
Take a breath, my heart drops to the floor
Start to cringe, I know what’s coming next
Is it on purpose? Is it to torture me?
“Can you get dinner, but I don’t care what you get”
Pizza – NO!
Tacos – NO!
Souvlaki – NO!
How ‘bout Spaghetti – NO!
Fried Chicken – NO!
Falafel – NO!
A Burger – NO!
Some Lobster – NO!
A Salad – NO!
How about a Hoagie – NO!
Hot Wings – NO!
Some Sausage – NO!
What do you want,
Just tell me what you want…
What do you want,
Finally decided, gonna get BarBeQue
I’m excited, looking forward to the meal,
Then it happens, it shouldn’t end like this
My phone rings, Oh My GOD this can’t be real
Take a breath, my heart drops to the floor
Start to cringe, I know what’s coming next
Is it on purpose? Is it to torture me?
“I don’t want BBQ, but I don’t care what you get”
Pizza – NO!
Tacos – NO!
Souvlaki – NO!
How ‘bout Spaghetti – NO!
Fried Chicken – NO!
Falafel – NO!
A Burger – NO!
Some Lobster – NO!
A Salad – NO!
How about a Hoagie – NO!
Hot Wings – NO!
Some Sausage – NO!
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