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NY Heavy Mental

 

Biography

JACKPIPE is

LARRY FORMAN – Vocals

DOM EMANUELE – Guitar

RICH STRENG – Bass

? – Drums


JACKPIPE is as crude and fun loving as a heavy metal and hardcore-punk crossover band can be, with all of the gruff bigmouth charm and deeply buried (but ever present) endearing sentiment that helps define the Big Apple. These are four guys weaned on Howard Stern, Andrew Dice Clay, and S.O.D., armed with big riffs, bigger pitchers of beer, and the biggest of belly laughs.


Their debut CD WELCOME TO NEW YORK, recorded with original drummer Chris Califano, is a full-length slab of Neanderthal riffs, barbarian rhythms, and tongue-in-cheek lyrical revelry. It’s defiantly free of trigger-warnings and safe spaces in its introduction of JACKPIPE to the world.


This is situational and observational comedy, the musical equivalent of a night out with your friends. JACKPIPE sounds like Jim Norton swallowed a gallon of coffee, stuffed his face with several slices of New York pizza, and grabbed the microphone to rant over stomping metalcore anthems made for moshing.


JACKPIPE follows in the fine East Coast traditions of unapologetic blowhards and jokesters M.O.D. and fellow native Long Islanders Ludichrist, with a brutal dose of heavy Hatebreed-style breakdowns.


Buffalo wings, Diet Pepsi, pizza and beer power the East Coast’s most boisterous musical wrecking crew. Everyone is invited to the JACKPIPE party. The band’s short songs, catchy riffs, delicious hooks, good humor, and unrelenting groove connect across multiple genres and subcultures, like the subway connects the boroughs.

 
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Larry Forman

Lead Singer - Lyrical Genius

The voice of Jackpipe. An Old School MetalHead with a flair for Comedy...

Dom Emanuele

Guitars and Sexiness

The Meat in the Jackpipe sandwich. A Newer School Metal guy with a touch of Hardcore in him...

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Rich Streng

Bass and Bourbon

Bringing the bottom up for Jackpipe. Grounded in Old School Thrash and Hardcore, he brings a little brutality to the show...

 
 
 

What's New

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Jackpipe with Blood Feast

Blood Feast joins Jackpipe and friends at Revolution for a night of metal!!

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Turbo’s Must Have Albums List of 2018

Jackpipe's CD "Welcome to New York" has been included on Turbo's List of Must Have Albums of 2018 (turborules.com) along with Dee Snider, Judas Priest, Ghost and more. Anyone in the NY Metal scene is familiar with Turbo, his love of metal and his work with Rock Against Dystrophy. He is a no nonsense voice out there and we are proud to call him a friend...

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Jackpipe to play live on air on Wadio Radio

Jackpipe will be down at Wadio Studios to play live on Wadio Radio November 17th.  What songs do you want to hear?
www.wadio.rocks

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Jackpipe to Play Brooklyn Bowl with Metal Allegiance

Metal Allegiance: Performing Black Sabbath’s first album and more at Brooklyn Bowl featuring Mike Portnoy, Mark Menghi, Alex Skolnick (Testament) and Bobby Blitz (Overkill) on SAT, OCT 27!
With
JACKPIPE
Magus Beast
Judas Priestess

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Metal Allegiance Listening Party

So Jackpipe returned to Blackthorn 51 for the Metal Allegiance Listening party. Metal Allegiance members making an appearance included Alex Skolnick, Dave Ellefson, and Trevor Strnad, all of which were given "care packages" by Jackpipe and all of which were super cool and complimentary, having come in during our set. Looking forward to maybe sharing the stage with these guys in the future...

 
 

Song Lyrics

All Lyrics © JackpipeMusic

Welcome To New York

Every day, just like clockwork

All the lemmings come to make a new start

On the buses, on the planes

To the Big Apple with hope in their hearts

Aspiring actors, singers and dancers

Come to New York leave their family behind

Looking for fame, looking for fortune

But those are two things that they rarely find

5 Grand a month for a bedroom

The winters so cold you can’t feel your face

Summer air, as thick as molasses

And the rats, not just the rat race

Mass transit that smells like a butthole

And the garbage lined all down the street

The sidewalks, so many people

A week’s salary for something to eat


WELCOME TO NEW YORK

NOW GO F*CK YOURSELF

WELCOME TO NEW YORK

NOW GO F*CK YOURSELF


Every day, just like clockwork

All the lemmings come to make a new start

On the buses, on the planes

To the Big Apple with hope in their hearts

But their dreams crushed like an insect

A realization that cuts like a knife

But they do it and they love it

Come to New York for the glamorous life

Girl Next Door

I remember when she moved here

I must have been about three or four

That’s when I fell in love

With the girl next door

We had the same classes

We sat together on the bus

Seemed like forever

Nothing could break us up

We went to prom together

And Great Adventure the next day

The future couldn’t look better

Then to college took me away

I came back that summer

To see my girl next door

You’ll never guess what I found out


She’s a Whore


She f*cked the football team

The coach and waterboy too

The girls lacrosse team

Well I’ll admit that’s kinda cool

Her Boss at the market

She f*cked my former best friend

I think she f*cked her brother

That list just never ends

We went to prom together

And Great Adventure the next day

The future couldn’t look better

Then to college took me away

I came back that summer

To see my girl next door

You’ll never guess what I found out

Cat Fight

Yea, no man can deny it

We just can’t look away

It’s just a guilty pleasure

For those straight, bi, or gay

When two women don’t agree

And prepare to throw down

We’re frozen in our tracks

As we watch them go to town

I don’t know if it’s our instincts

Or that we love to see a fight

But there’s something so sexy

About two women wrapped up tight

Now most men seem to watch them

Cause they’re hoping to see some boobs

The reason that I watch

Is I’m hoping to see some boobs


CAT FIGHT - CAT FIGHT


They’re gonna kick, scratch and claw

Throw a right hook to the jaw

Then bang, pow, bam

Gonna watch their bodies slam

As they rip, shred, and tear

Down to their underwear

Gouge, kick, and bite

Oh I love a good Cat Fight            

Yea, no man can deny it

We just can’t look away

It’s just a guilty pleasure

For those straight, bi, or gay

When two women don’t agree

And prepare to throw down

We’re frozen in our tracks

As we watch them go to town

Douchebag

When you were young

You pushed the kids around

And you took their lunch money

You knocked them to the ground

Then you hit high school

And you played on all the teams

You were a typical jerkoff

A gym teachers wet dream…

Black eyes and wedgies

Were the tools of your trade

I wish your parents knew

What a monster they made


DOUCHEBAG

              

Straight out of college

Your daddy bought you a Benz

And you hung out at sports bars

With your so called friends

Now that you’re older

You’re still an ass-clown

Yeah, no one liked you then

And no one likes you now

Cause you’re a f*ckin waste of space

And things haven’t changed a bit

You still live with Mommy

And you’re still a piece of sh*t…

Green Mist of Death

Hanging with my girlfriend

My cheeks start to clench

Tell her it’s just a cough

But she smells the stench

Her eyes start to tear

Her chest starts to heave

I can guess by her shouting

It’s time for me to leave

Guess I’m not getting lucky

As she throws up her food

I can’t help but think

My stink has spoiled the mood


               Everyone Beware!

               There’s something in the air

               You’d better hold your breath

               It’s the Green Mist of Death


Sitting in my church

Feeling something brew

Let a little slip

Now I sit in my own pew

The priest shouts from the pulpit

What the f*cks that smell

I gotta laugh

As he condemns to Hell


               Everyone Beware!

               There’s something in the air

               You’d better hold your breath

               It’s the Green Mist of Death


Poisonous gases

Released into the air

The Green Mist of Death

For all the world to share…

Inch of My Love

Good things come in small packages

And a small package is what I have

But I’ll never be offended

If you looked at it and laugh

Cause it’s the motion in the ocean

Or at least that’s what I’ve heard

So un-dock my little dingy

I’m gonna take you all around the world

I’m not grower or a show-er

But I really know how to please

Wanna meet the Little General

Well get down on your knees

Just give a little kiss

And he’ll come out from where he hides

Then strap yourself in,

It’s gonna be a bumpy ride…


Turn out the lights,

Take off your clothes,

The time is right

Gonna give you an Inch of my Love


Say I’m over compensating?

What are you trying to imply

So I drive new sports car

I has nothing to do with my size

I may be hung like a hamster

But he can be your little pet

And he’s nothing like Gizmo

He loves getting wet

You can call him Captain Tingles

Cause he knows what you like

So hop up on top

It’s just like riding a bike

Maybe ride him like a cowgirl

And let your inhibitions self out

No he’s not a stripper pole

But he’s made some strippers shout…

Take Me to the Buffet

Just a couple of friends, and we’re driving ‘round town

We’re looking for a place, where we can chow down

Don’t want a hot dog, no burger or fries

No bucket no biscuit will satisfy

It’s hard to find a place that we all agree on

But I know a place we can eat all night long

It’s way down south on DPA

And 7.95 is all you gotta pay


               Take me to the buffet

               Now get out of my way

               Take me to the buffet

               I’m gettin’ hungry


I find a parking spot, run to the door,

The girls asks how many, I tell them there’s four,

So we get a table, and a pitcher of beer,

Yell people take note, you’ve got professionals here

I go grab a plate, cause it’s time to eat,

Drooling like a savage, I run to the meat,

Chris has salad, his wife would be proud,

It’s the only buffet line that doesn’t have a crowd


               Take me to the buffet

               Now get out of my way

               Take me to the buffet

               I’m gettin’ hungry



Pull up to the place and get a seat

Get out look around see what I wanna eat

Cause I’m large and in charge, burly and mean

Get ready for some eatin’ like you’ve never seen

Yea JACKPIPE’s here and in full effect

You better hope that when we’re done you’ve got something left

So strap on a bib or get out the way

Come join us and Take me out to the Buffet…

Hot Sauce

So, I bite into my burger

It’s good but it needs something more

I want each bite to make me sweat

Each bite to burn me to the core

So I wave to the waiter

Tell him bring me something hot

He comes back with Tabasco sauce

I laugh and ask “is that all you’ve got”

So I order Jambalaya

Tell the chef crank up the heat

They bring it to the table

It needs something before I eat

Cause I want my lips on fire

I want my nose to run like hell

I wanna feel it in my gut

I want my face to f*ckin melt      


GET ME THE HOT SAUCE - I WANT MY FACE TO GO NUMB             

GET ME THE HOT SAUCE - I WANNA CRY TEARS OF THE SUN

GET ME THE HOT SAUCE - SO HOT IT MAKES MY BUTTHOLE SING

GET ME THE HOT SAUCE - I PUT THAT SH*T ON EVERYTHING


Get take out from the sushi place

A sashimi plate with food for six

And it’s all mine I cannot wait

But first it needs a little fix

Cause I want my lips on fire

I want my nose to run like hell

I wanna feel it in my gut

I want my face to f*ckin melt

Big and Beautiful

It’s Friday night, I’m out on the streets,

Looking for love, she’s looking to eat,

I’ve got some Brownies and some Cookie Dough,

Pull out a Twinkie and she’s ready to go…

She’s my Dairy Queen looking for love,

I got the Whopper she’s been dreaming of,

Time for dinner, gonna fill up my cup.

I’m smooth like gravy and she’s sopping it up,

Its 9:30 we’re at Mickey D’s,

She has a Big Mac double the cheese,

My hungers satisfied but she still has needs,

Straps a bib on and she’s ready to feed…

She’s not large, she’s quadruple XL,

She’s not an hourglass she’s more like a bell,

But sweet as sugar it pumps through her veins,

I got the stuff to settle her hunger pangs…


Big and Beautiful – She’s got more than a mouthful

Big and Beautiful – Has her own Gravitational Pull

Big and Beautiful – There’s lotsa junk in her trunk

Big and Beautiful – Look out – she’s backin it up


It’s Friday night, I’m out on the streets,

Looking for love, she’s looking to eat,

I’ve got some Brownies and some Cookie Dough,

Pull out a Twinkie and she’s ready to go…

She’s my Dairy Queen looking for love,

I got the Whopper she’s been dreaming of,

Time for dinner, gonna fill up my cup.

I’m smooth like gravy and she’s sopping it up,

 

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