NY Heavy Mental

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Biography

JACKPIPE is

LARRY FORMAN – Vocals

DOM EMANUELE – Guitar

RICH STRENG – Bass

GREGG COOK – Drums


NY's JACKPIPE is as crude and fun loving as a heavy metal and hardcore crossover band can be, with all of the gruff bigmouth charm and deeply buried (but ever present) endearing sentiment that helps define the Big Apple. These are four guys weaned on Howard Stern, Andrew Dice Clay, and S.O.D., armed with big riffs, bigger pitchers of beer, and the biggest of belly laughs.


This is situational and observational comedy full of barbarian rhythms and tongue-in-cheek lyrical revelry. It's the musical equivalent of a night out with your friends and defiantly free of trigger-warnings and safe spaces. JACKPIPE sounds like Jim Norton swallowed a gallon of coffee and grabbed the microphone to rant over stomping metal-core anthems made for moshing.

Everyone is invited to the JACKPIPE party. Powered by pizza, wings, bourbon and beer, this East Coast wrecking crew's short songs, catchy riffs, delicious hooks, good humor, and unrelenting groove connect across multiple genres and subcultures, like the subway connects the boroughs.

 
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Larry Forman

Lead Singer - Lyrical Genius

The voice of Jackpipe. An Old School MetalHead with a flair for Comedy...

Dom Emanuele

Guitars and Sexiness

The Meat in the Jackpipe sandwich. A Newer School Metal guy with a touch of Hardcore in him...

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Rich Streng

Bass and Bourbon

Bringing the bottom up for Jackpipe. Grounded in Old School Thrash and Hardcore, he brings a little brutality to the show...

Gregg Cook

Drums - Monster

The beat behind the stupidity. He has the double bass to blast your face...

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Jackpipe Merch

Get Some Merch...

 
 
 
 

What's New

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JACKPIPE playing AMH

Sunday Sept. 26th, JACKPIPE makes their debut at Amityville Music Hall playing with Psycho Hill and local favs Idiot Box, Downsides, and Chris Cyanide

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Layin' the Pipe - JACKPIPE

It's finally available!!

CD's and digital download at

Amazon, iTunes, CDBaby and other outlets

Friday, the 13th of August, JACKPIPE will be releasing their new CD, LAYIN’ THE PIPE. LAYIN’ THE PIPE is a full-length affirmation that JACKPIPE is back to take over the world….um, well JACKPIPE is back.

 
 

Song Lyrics

All Lyrics © JackpipeMusic

Thanks for the Mammaries

When a lady walks by

Two things catch my eye

I know your eyes are up there

Well, I’ll try not to stare


Steel Panther likes them real big

Like two balloons ‘round a twig

Zappa liked them with beer

I just say bring them here


Like kryptonite to most guys

They come in every size

A’s B’s Cs

Double D’s


            Big or Small - I love them all

            Soft and Fat - Firm or Flat

            Set them free - Show them to me

            Big or Small - I love them all

            BOOBIES


They’re functional but they’re fun

Why God gave you more than one

They get called lots of names

I love them all the same


The Bloodhound Gang said hooray

I cheer for boobs everyday

Cause as an infant we’re trained

Got boobies on the brain


Like kryptonite to most guys

They come in every size

A’s B’s Cs

Double D’s


            Big or Small - I love them all

            Soft and Fat - Firm or Flat

            Set them free - Show them to me

            Big or Small - I love them all

            BOOBIES

Dick Kryptonite

From across the room

In a crowded place


The mass of people part

And I can see her face


Feel it in my bones

And feel it in my pants


I think it might be love

Hope that I have a chance


               I get a whiff of her breath

               Smells like she gave head to Death

               Libido nowhere in sight

               It’s Dick Kryptonite

              

Walking through the mall

Flowing blonde hair


Everybody looks

The people stop and stare


Like a beauty queen

Out from the runway lights


Think she smiled at me

Say hi to break the ice


               I get a whiff of her breath

               Smells like she gave head to Death

               Libido nowhere in sight

               It’s Dick Kryptonite

              

               And when she opens her mouth

               My erection goes south

               Won’t even put up a fight

               It’s Dick Kryptonite

Let the Coffee Flow

Open up my eyes,

To see another day,

I really hate waking up,

When I’m feeling this way,


My eyesight is blurry,

My whole-body aches,

What the hell was I doing?

I just can’t concentrate


Go get the morning paper,

Let the dog out to pee,

Stumble to the Keurig,

I can barely see,


I need a kick in the ass,

I’m so fucking tired,

Gotta get me some fuel,

To build me a fire,

               

     LET THE COFFEE FLOW

     LET THE COFFEE FLOW

     LET THE COFFEE FLOW

     LET THE COFFEE FLOW


It’s 3 o’clock and I’m shot,

Just wanna go take a nap

I think my body needs rest,

I’m too old for this crap


Made another pot,

A little stronger brew,

Like black gasoline

Delicious rocket fuel,


     LET THE COFFEE FLOW

     LET THE COFFEE FLOW

     LET THE COFFEE FLOW

     LET THE COFFEE FLOW

Butter-Face

I’m at the store – Wearing my mask –

And this chick goes by – Shaking her ass –

In her yoga pants – You know they fit so well -

I think she smiled – But it’s so hard to tell –


I pay my bill – And walk out to the lot –

She follows me – Man, she’s looking hot –

We talk a bit – Always 6 feet apart –

Takes off her mask – And that just broke my heart –


Order some grub – Support the local guys –

Drive to the place – To pick it up curbside -

She brings my bag – Saunters out to my car –

Struts her stuff – Like she’s a runway star –


Flirts with me – And writes her number down –

Says to call – When Hubby’s not around –

Pulls down her mask – And blows a kiss at me –

I hit the gas – And hear my tires scream –


            She’s a Butter-Face           

            She’s got a Butter-Face

            So hot but her face…


It’s laundry time – My clothes are drying

And I see those eyes - There’s no denying

I’m mesmerized – They look into my soul

I can’t explain – Love has taken hold


Off comes her mask – She may be ugly

But I can look passed – Damn, she’s ugly

But she’s sent from GOD – From Heaven up above

As Madness sang – you know it must be love…


            She’s a Butter-Face           

            She’s got a Butter-Face

            So hot but her face…

Mama's Boy

I was raised in a broken home

Real Mother left when I was young

Caught my dad with a younger chick

Unlike me, dad was hung


Away at college and my dad re-wed,

I came home to meet his wife,

My first night home she snuck into my bed,

Gave me the fuckin’ of my life


She’d walk around in her underwear

Tempt me every chance she can

Says she likes what I have in my pants

And I could be her little man


Told me that I have to call her Mom

When we play our special game

Glad my dad is kinda old and deaf

Cause every night she screams my name…


            She comes to me

            Whenever he’s not home

            She teases me

            When we’re all alone

            Yeah, she’s a freak

            Lives out her fantasies

            She cracks the whip

            And has me on knees


                        Yea, I’m a Mama’s Boy

                        Step Mother’s little toy

                        Yea, I’m a Mama’s Boy


They make Porno ‘bout this kind of thing

Never thought that I’d live that life

Semesters started, I was back at school

Damn, I miss my dad’s hot wife


Weekend came, I’d get a call,

It’s her, she looking for some fun,

She’d come up to visit me,

Guess my dad can’t get it done

Not Just a Pretty Face

Cat calls and whistling, Hey man that butt looks sick

Sliding in my DM’s, Talking slick, sending pics


I know I’m beautiful, Straight off the cover of Vogue

You really want me, There’s something you must know…


Yea, I’ve got the body, But I’ve got the brains to match

I don’t have baggage, So babe, I’m quite the catch


Now don’t be frightened, We’re the same in most ways

If you really want, Hear what I’ve got to say…


You want all of this?

Can you handle it?

Cause there’s more to this

Then just sexiness

I may be a ten

A God among all men

But just know your place

Not just a pretty face


            Not Just a Pretty Face

            More Than What You See

            Not Just a Pretty Face

            So Don’t Judge Me

            Not Just a Pretty Face

            Don’t Hate Me Cause I’m Beautiful

            Not Just a Pretty Face

           

I see you staring, Woman up and come over here

Be a little bit daring, Come on, I’ll buy you a beer


You might get lucky, You could have me on your arm

When it gets cold, Aw babe I’ll keep you warm


Intimidating? No I just know I’m hot

Legendary? Well babe I can’t say I’m not


Now don’t be frightened, We’re the same in most ways

If you really want, Hear what I’ve got to say…


You want all of this?

Can you handle it?

Cause there’s more to this

Then just sexiness

I may be a ten

A God among all men

But just know your place

Not just a pretty face


            Not Just a Pretty Face

            More Than What You See

            Not Just a Pretty Face

            So Don’t Judge Me

            Not Just a Pretty Face

            Don’t Hate Me Cause I’m Beautiful

            Not Just a Pretty Face


Cat calls and whistling, Hey man that butt looks sick

Sliding in my DM’s, Talking slick, sending pics


I know I’m beautiful, Straight off the cover of Vogue

You really want me, There’s something you must know…


Yea, I’ve got the body, But I’ve got the brains to match

I don’t have baggage, So babe, I’m quite the catch


Now don’t be frightened, We’re the same in most ways

If you really want, Hear what I’ve got to say…

Last Call

Hot young girl behind the bar

Getting me hot under the collar

You know she wants the D

And by D I mean the dollar


I tell her I’m going to give her the tip

She says whip it out

I got all night to make her mine

Night’s not over ‘til she shouts…


            It’s Last Call

            For Alcohol

            Get you Whiskey, Wine or Beer

            Then Get the Fuck Outta Here


Been here all night it’s getting late

But I still got game to play

She smiles and laughs, blocks all my shots

As the time ticks away


Look at the clock it’s a quarter to four

Guess I’m not getting laid

Just want to give her an Inch of My Love

She’s just trying to get paid

2 Crazy 4 Me

Blonde hair and baby blues,

She’s beautiful and look at that butt,

But there’s one huge problem,

This chick is fuckin nuts,


And not in that normal way,

That all women kind of are,

This is the type of chick,

Drive through your house with her car,


She looks good in everything,

But her brand of jacket should be straight,

If crazy went from 1 to 10

She’d be at least a 28


Well she’s versed in the arts of pleasure

She certainly knows a thing or two

I can’t deal with her crazy

But Man, crazy fucks so damn good…


            She’s 2 Crazy 4 Me

            But she fucks so good…


A devil in daisy dukes,

A lunatic, she’s hot but insane,

Oh Yeah, she’s hot as hell,

But crazy is her middle name,


I can’t get enough,

Addicted, I run if I could,

I can’t deal with her crazy,

But Man, crazy fucks so damn good…

What Do You Want

My wife calls, tells me stop at the store

Get some milk, maybe a loaf of bread

Write it down, try to get off the phone

Must escape, before I hear those words I dread,


Take a breath, my heart drops to the floor

Start to cringe, I know what’s coming next

Is it on purpose? Is it to torture me?

“Can you get dinner, but I don’t care what you get”


  Pizza – NO!

  Tacos – NO!

  Souvlaki – NO!

  How ‘bout Spaghetti – NO!

  Fried Chicken – NO!

  Falafel – NO!

  A Burger – NO!

  Some Lobster – NO!

  A Salad – NO!

  How about a Hoagie – NO!

  Hot Wings – NO!

  Some Sausage – NO!


         What do you want,

         Just tell me what you want…

         What do you want,


Finally decided, gonna get BarBeQue

I’m excited, looking forward to the meal, 

Then it happens, it shouldn’t end like this

My phone rings, Oh My GOD this can’t be real


Take a breath, my heart drops to the floor

Start to cringe, I know what’s coming next

Is it on purpose? Is it to torture me?

“I don’t want BBQ, but I don’t care what you get”


  Pizza – NO!

  Tacos – NO!

  Souvlaki – NO!

  How ‘bout Spaghetti – NO!

  Fried Chicken – NO!

  Falafel – NO!

  A Burger – NO!

  Some Lobster – NO!

  A Salad – NO!

  How about a Hoagie – NO!

  Hot Wings – NO!

  Some Sausage – NO!

 
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